DRONA (2008) Hindi Movie Review By Kalcha

Audience Rating For DRONA

(3 votes, average: 1 out of 10)
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RELEASE DATE: October 2, 2008
LANGUAGE: Hindi
STAR CAST: Abhishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra, Kay Kay Menon, Jaya Bachchan, Akhilendra Mishra, Veer Arya (Child Actor) & Others
COSTUMES: Anaita Shroff Adajania
CINEMATOGRAPHY: Sameer Arya
STUNTS: Shyam Kaushal & Tom Delmar
SOUND: Baylon Fonseca
SINGERS: Sunidhi Chauhan, Nandini Shrikar, Roop Kumar Rathod, Sadhana Sargam, Shaan, Suzanne D’mello, Francois, Dean Delvin, Sunaina
LYRICS: Vaibhav Modi
MUSIC DIRECTOR: Dhruv Ghanekar
CASSETTES & CDs: Eros Music
EDITOR: Shyam Salgaonkar
SCREENPLAY: Goldie Behl & Joydeep Sarkar
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Iqbal Kidwai
DIRECTOR: Goldie Behl
PRODUCER: Shrishti Arya
BANNER: Rose Movies & Eros Entertainment

DRONA… just Kyona? aakhir hai tho maha borna…? Did we ever beg Goldie-saab for such a Spineless Superhero? And what the hell was that talk by Abhishek-saab stating that Drona’s character is not a Superhero and just a King? Come on Shrishti-memsaab, you really think that those phony swords aka Drona merchandise are gonna sell? And dear Drona makers… what exactly did you wanna make…? And do you think you have made it?

• As always, pictures do speak better… The above 4 performances were an absolute torture cell. Did I say 4? Oh yeah… Drona Before & After versions included.
• First, let us start by asking Kay Kay Menon (One Of The Best Actors In Indian Cinema)… Are U out of your mind that U accepted this role…? Kay Kay’s hallmark is his ability to underplay any character so that the mood doesn’t get wayward on the screen. His acting generally keeps us focused on the issue at hand rather than going over-board with his histrionics. But what style of acting is he embarking upon in this piece of shit? He (or the director) tries to recreate a character as loud as Amrish Puri played in his heydays. This performance is an absolute garbage.
• Then comes a yesteryear able actress that makes me puke on my front seat with utter repulsion. She would easily qualify as the Worst Mother Ever On Screen. No prizes for guessing who she is… Jaya Bachchan had made my sensitive side of brain go numb earlier with her over the top acting prowess and loose hairdo in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And now she invested her valuable time, as a politician who should be serving this nation, in making my brain lose control once again. She is an absolute torture with a lullaby for her Overweight-Superhero son Drona as soon as he returns to his long lost mother.
• The whole Razpur set that was erected would not even qualify as a piece of s-crap in a nearby kabaad-khana. It was so flimsy with an array of colors that are so gaudy that they would leave most of us color-blind. How can a movie with a budget that runs in excess of Rs. 50 Crore can be so flimsy. The sets all through the film are messy and gaudy. The supposed samadhis of Drona’s ancestors are bright silvery in the midst of a desert while the palace that his mother lives looks like it needs a servant or two.
• Speaking of stunts… which were being publicized as the next big things in action, the following crappy scene would clear the air. In one of the scenes where Abhishek while trying to rescue his horse Devdutt, jumps out of a fast (supposedly) moving train at exactly 90 degrees to the moving train. How can a stunt director forget the basics of motion sensibilities (inertia) while choreographing a stunt? They must be either underpaid or under-qualified.
• And now coming to the Drona himself… Abhishek Bachchan would easily qualify as the worst superhero on the face of this planet. He doesn’t even do his homework to play such a role. He doesn’t have any postures to identify the character with. Any superhero is identified with his trademark qualities and Abhishek has none of them. His costume looks like an over-expensive shaadi-ka-joda. From head to toe, he looks like a piece of unsaleable scrap metal. His expressions are as good as your creaking wooden bed’s under your butt. Come on, this is unforgivable from the son of a stalwart like Amitabh Bachchan and also who is almost 30 films old. How much more should Bollywood invest to make Abhishek a salable actor and bring out some expressions on his woody face?
• Goldie Behl has not only made the biggest disaster of 2008, but he also successfully compelled most of us to cry out of sheer pain. Hats-off to him for achieving these dubious distinctions. Wow! what a shitty story he has written and directed…! He single-handedly tried to take Bollywood back to the stone age by writing the screenplay along with another culprit Joydeep Sarkar. Just taste this… Abhishek’s character starts as a child being mistreated by his guardians. Do you find no problem with this over repeated cliche? Then you have an Abhishek that grows up to 6+ feet and still is being mistreated by his guardians. Ufff… a real superhero…! He creates a character with long-silky-blonde hair and beard, who looks strikingly similar… no… no… exactly the same to a character in Lord Of The Rings. That is just a sign of dearth in creativity. The bottom line is Goldie is not even close to becoming a director.

PRIYANKA CHOPRA is the only saving grace in the whole film. But she too is marred by the crappiest dialogues like “Babuji Kehte the…”. She is undoubtedly the best stunt performing woman on Indian screens. She is slick in her moves. She has done enough homework to get her postures right and elegant. She is undoubtedly the best superwoman in India. My only grouse is that she is not a good chooser of scripts. Otherwise, how can she end up with her 7th consecutive flop in Drona? Indian Filmdom wishes all the best for her future endeavors.

I can just go on blabbering about how much more Drona tortured me… but you and I lack time… isn’t it?